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Let me rewind please, so I can explain myself.

I grew up with a very strict and controlling German Mom. (Sorry Mom! You know I love you, but I hope you never read this!)

In our house we were required to be extremely tidy and organized. Those were just the rules. If my drawers got messy, my Mom would dump all of them out on the floor in a huge pile and instruct me to put everything away neatly. Picture my Mom wagging her finger at me and saying with her German-British-Canadian accent, “You are a slut!”. (I told her she needed to look that one up because it didn’t mean what I think she thought it did).

Sometimes my Mom would add to the mountain and throw the entire contents of my closet and the storage bench on the pile too. There would be clothes and stuffies and schoolwork all jumbled together. It’s not surprising that I found this extremely overwhelming if not impossible. I kicked things around a little out of spite and then eventually got started tidying. It usually took all day. I vowed I would be as messy as I pleased when I got a place of my own.

I was living in a condo in downtown Toronto when I met my future husband. As promised, my place was 550 square feet of utter chaos. I did try to keep things tidy in the beginning but let’s be honest, there’s no organizing system in the world that can cure too much stuff. My career as a flight attendant had me living out of a suitcase that was perpetually open at the foot of the bed. There was clothing strewn about everywhere and the sink was always full of dishes. I managed to keep this side of myself a secret from my boyfriend for a few months, but when we moved in together, the cat got let out of the bag. I was a messy person who was apparently “impossible to live with”.

My future ex-husband gave me some really great advice in regards to the shit-storm I left behind every time I left for work. He did tell me I was one of the most organized people he had ever met, but I just had a problem with time management. He suggested I get up half an hour earlier and tidy up and do the dishes before I left. I absolutely hate getting up early, but I did it and lo and behold, I left the place tidy when I went out.

Once we got married and bought a big house and had a kid and all the things that go with it, you can imagine it became more difficult for me to maintain being a semi-tidy person. After our amicable divorce six years ago, he moved out – taking very little – essentially starting over. I almost wished I got to be the one to start fresh. I was left with a 3500 square foot home filled to the gills with stuff. I felt very overwhelmed, not knowing where to even start getting rid of stuff, nevermind organizing it!

I tried this new thing called the Marie Kondo Method, which in retrospect seemed remarkably similar to my Mom’s trial-by-fire method of tidying up. As instructed, I took my entire closet out and dumped it all on my bed. Wow, what a lot of clothes I had! It left me feeling totally overwhelmed. I shut down and climbed into my bed and actually slept with that huge pile of clothes on it for an entire week. I was then tasked with having to put it all away again finally and the worst part is: I didn’t end up of getting rid of a single thing!

So, where am I going with this? I am sure you are wondering how a clutterbug like me could end up giving advice about how to declutter! Well, I had an epiphany recently listening to Cas on the Clutterbug podcast and I also read a fabulous book by Tracy McCubbin, Make Space for Happiness.

Here is my epiphany: if you aren’t using something and it makes you feel bad or guilty or stressed out to have it in your space, get rid of it! I threw out or donated over 20 bags of stuff in the last few weeks and I am just getting started. This included toys and Barbies and all kinds of stuff I had been hoarding for over four decades. I thought I would be sad to get rid of these things, but I’m not! I feel free! I found out something else: I’m not messy… I just didn’t know what my organizing style is! For someone with ADHD (diagnosed late last year and frankly, that was a no-brainer), putting things away needs to be easy and finding the things I need to use on a daily basis needs to be simple and functional.

Now that I understand why I had a love affair with stuff and have the tools and skills to deal with it, I want to share this knowledge with the world.

I am so glad I dumped my stuff. It was a toxic relationship anyway.

Would you like to learn how to break up with your stuff? This will change your life in ways you couldn’t even imagine! The first step is getting started! Baby steps my friends! I will hold your hand every step of the way!

Can’t wait to help you transform your home!

Bye clutter, hello love!

Love Sarah, your Friend & Declutter Coach

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